Towards the end of class, we discussed the differences when making judgments in public or private sectors. This was an interesting talk for me because although it seems that our moral compass doesn’t change much from one day to the next, the majority of us have a tendency to behave differently depending on which setting we are in.
Interestingly enough, it sounded like the general consensus was that we are quick to write off someone we don’t know based off a comment they said or call them out on it. However, it is difficult for most to oppose a friend or family member. Many of us have older relatives who grew up believing certain things that although we recognize are not true, we mostly let them slide and take comfort in the fact that that’s just what they grew up believing or they are too old to change now. I’m guilty of this myself but in class I started wondering if by taking this passive approach is a mistake.
Do we have a duty to let them know our reaction? The idea of respect comes into play and that complicates matters. But is it possible to stand up to them in an appropriate and accepted way? After all, people always say that you can’t pick you’re family and you’re just stuck with them so shouldn’t that imply that no matter what happens or what is said you can count on them not walking out forever? One of the main reasons for not saying something is that we don’t want to offend them but doesn’t this dilemma occur as a result of them offending us? Where do we draw the line between knowing what we could rightly say versus politely setting our feelings aside?
Esha, good post! I'm glad you revisited this talk. I think you are absolutely right in making the judgment that, "the majority of us have a tendency to behave differently depending on which setting we are in." As for your questions regarding family members and letting them know our opinions and reactions to potentially sexist/racist/homophobic comments, I'm not sure how to answer that. Immediately I want to say "yes, of course I would need to stand up for my opinions and my feelings," however, it is easy to say that I would want to do that and rather difficult to actually do. The dilemma doesn't seem to have a certain answer as much as I struggle with it and look at it from different points of view. It seems like each case would vary, but I can't seem to find an overall answer.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Esha! I was actually thinking about that after class and I think it's important to find a balance between polite and passive. So it doesn't have to be on opposite poles and maybe we can be politely confrontational. So speaking in the correct polite language when facing family members about views that they have is very important. I do believe we have a duty to engage in dialogue with people that are close to us because we also may get away with it while changing their minds when other people who are not blood might not.
ReplyDeleteI have tried to have conversations with my grandma and no matter how respectful I try to be, she doesn't seem to listen and ends up getting mad and frustrated. I have given up because my efforts are usually in vain and it just leads to tension. However, I'm glad I at least tried for awhile. I think that people have a responsibility to at least try to change the mindset of others when they are saying things that one finds wrong or offensive. Awareness is an important part of change and constructive, honest conversations are important and these need to take place between friends and family, since those are the people we're the most comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to agree with Michelle. I like the point that Noor made in class about how not correcting those that we know and are close to ultimately contributes to perpetuating traditional norms. If you are really for something, you'll stand up for it no matter who you come into contact with. It is important to remember that you don't always have to succeed in persuading someone about what you think or believe, but it definitely helps to have a dialogue even if it is one-sided. We shouldn't shy away from correcting family members because they're family just because it's uncomfortable. Be Bold! Be Brave!
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